Hi Mom,
It’ unbelievable that four years have come and gone since you left us. I look around me and see how much you have missed. Days of great joy, days of staggering grief, days of monumental change, and days of sameness. Some beloved lights were extinguished and others were created. Most still burn bright. Yes, life goes on but it’s ever changing, ever evolving. I am glad you didn’t live to see Uncle Claude’s passing. It was quick and surprising to us all. Eris’s passing was so difficult to watch. I visited her in the hospital three weeks before her death. Both she and Duaine had terrible lung infections. Eris’s was worse than Duaine’s but she fought so hard to shake it off. Finally the doctor said, “Go home. There’s nothing more I can do.” So she did, so weak she couldn’t manage even the simplest of functions. But her spirit was still there and a few days later she made her final outing to the hospital to see her first born great grandchild (Emily’s) through the nursery window. She passed quietly a few days later in the wee hours with her kids, grandchildren and Duaine at her side. Her funeral was well attended with so many family and friends. It seemed strange you weren’t there. I was there, Denny was there and even Shawn made it. Losing her reminded me in part, of losing you. She was such a part of our lives for so long. Among my best memories are the fun times we had with her and the family. The trips, the picnics, the holiday celebrations, and even the simplest get-togethers were so warm in my memory. It’s so sad that you and she never came to terms with your differences. But I know both of you cared for the other deeply. I am sure both of you were aware of that as well.
Laura gave birth to a beautiful sweet daughter, Grace about a month after your passing. Oh Mom, I so hope you can somehow see her. She is everything a person could dream of to have in a child. She’s so adorable, so impish, so funny, bright, a real character. She so reminiscent of Laura it’s scary! I am so happy Laura had a daughter so much like she was as a child. Now she can have in Grace what I loved so much about having my own daughter.
Then, nearly two years ago, Laura gave birth to yet another son. We all went through so much anguish, during Laura’s pregnancy. A few months into her pregnancy after tests, doctors told her he was hopelessly deformed and so deathly ill that there was virtually no chance for him to survive. He wasn’t expected to live to full term and if by some chance he did, he would die within hours of birth. Laura and Sam were told to terminate this pregnancy. They refused, choosing to leave this poor soul's fate in God’s hands. I immediately left for Michigan to stay with Laura and help her cope with this devastating news. But how do you console someone with that kind of future? No one could. Try as I might I couldn’t help her, Mom. Laura and Sam asked for prayers for their precious unborn child from everyone. Kevin and I had people praying from our church. Mom, literally hundreds of people from all over the country prayed for them. Weeks went by and the baby grew. The sense of dread and grief hung heavy over us all, almost suffocating. Laura felt the baby wasn’t going to make it through Christmas. Laura and Sam named the baby Immanuel which means “God is with us.” Christmas came and went and the baby was still alive… One day in January Laura went for tests on the baby once again. The results were nothing short of astounding! They showed all the defects had disappeared and that he was healthy! The doctors could not explain it. He still tested positive for Down’s Syndrome. Laura anguished, “I can handle anything but losing him.” Late in April the most beautiful little baby boy was born. His Down’s was so mild you couldn’t even tell he has it. Manny is a pure joy, a happy little guy with a winsome personality and an abundance of charm. He has a very special affect on those who meet him. This child’s coming was the most miraculous event you can imagine and a true testament to what faith and trusting God can do.
Mom, this amazing child’s story has brought both Kev and I back to God. We found the most wonderful church and we are members now and active participants. We take classes to learn more about God and expand our knowledge of Jesus and Christianity several times each year. Every week neither of us can hardly wait to attend church and the classes. We have made a lot of friends in this church and we even do things socially outside of church with them. Can you imagine me being this way? I am so much happier now. I only wish you could have been here to see it. Maybe you can…
Even though we are four years since you left us, I still can’t easily deal with your things. There’s a closet in the “Motel 6 room” that is completely filled with your Christmas decorations. I haven’t even looked at them, Mom. I can’t. You always had such special Christmas’s for us every year. Your house was always so beautifully decorated and Christmas Eves were so wonderful. I miss you so terribly especially on those days; all Christmas Eves since those days pale in comparison. I don’t know how to give your things away. They meant too much to you and now too much to me. It’s like contemplating giving a part of you away. I guess I am not strong enough yet. Laura suggested I have my neighbour, Donna, help me. But Donna never knew you. Eris is gone and Ardith will never visit again. Maybe someday Laura can help me with this. Until that time I hold that closet dear along with all those great memories. Thank you for those, Mom and so many others. I miss you and will always love you.
Your loving daughter,
Marta
It’ unbelievable that four years have come and gone since you left us. I look around me and see how much you have missed. Days of great joy, days of staggering grief, days of monumental change, and days of sameness. Some beloved lights were extinguished and others were created. Most still burn bright. Yes, life goes on but it’s ever changing, ever evolving. I am glad you didn’t live to see Uncle Claude’s passing. It was quick and surprising to us all. Eris’s passing was so difficult to watch. I visited her in the hospital three weeks before her death. Both she and Duaine had terrible lung infections. Eris’s was worse than Duaine’s but she fought so hard to shake it off. Finally the doctor said, “Go home. There’s nothing more I can do.” So she did, so weak she couldn’t manage even the simplest of functions. But her spirit was still there and a few days later she made her final outing to the hospital to see her first born great grandchild (Emily’s) through the nursery window. She passed quietly a few days later in the wee hours with her kids, grandchildren and Duaine at her side. Her funeral was well attended with so many family and friends. It seemed strange you weren’t there. I was there, Denny was there and even Shawn made it. Losing her reminded me in part, of losing you. She was such a part of our lives for so long. Among my best memories are the fun times we had with her and the family. The trips, the picnics, the holiday celebrations, and even the simplest get-togethers were so warm in my memory. It’s so sad that you and she never came to terms with your differences. But I know both of you cared for the other deeply. I am sure both of you were aware of that as well.
Laura gave birth to a beautiful sweet daughter, Grace about a month after your passing. Oh Mom, I so hope you can somehow see her. She is everything a person could dream of to have in a child. She’s so adorable, so impish, so funny, bright, a real character. She so reminiscent of Laura it’s scary! I am so happy Laura had a daughter so much like she was as a child. Now she can have in Grace what I loved so much about having my own daughter.
Then, nearly two years ago, Laura gave birth to yet another son. We all went through so much anguish, during Laura’s pregnancy. A few months into her pregnancy after tests, doctors told her he was hopelessly deformed and so deathly ill that there was virtually no chance for him to survive. He wasn’t expected to live to full term and if by some chance he did, he would die within hours of birth. Laura and Sam were told to terminate this pregnancy. They refused, choosing to leave this poor soul's fate in God’s hands. I immediately left for Michigan to stay with Laura and help her cope with this devastating news. But how do you console someone with that kind of future? No one could. Try as I might I couldn’t help her, Mom. Laura and Sam asked for prayers for their precious unborn child from everyone. Kevin and I had people praying from our church. Mom, literally hundreds of people from all over the country prayed for them. Weeks went by and the baby grew. The sense of dread and grief hung heavy over us all, almost suffocating. Laura felt the baby wasn’t going to make it through Christmas. Laura and Sam named the baby Immanuel which means “God is with us.” Christmas came and went and the baby was still alive… One day in January Laura went for tests on the baby once again. The results were nothing short of astounding! They showed all the defects had disappeared and that he was healthy! The doctors could not explain it. He still tested positive for Down’s Syndrome. Laura anguished, “I can handle anything but losing him.” Late in April the most beautiful little baby boy was born. His Down’s was so mild you couldn’t even tell he has it. Manny is a pure joy, a happy little guy with a winsome personality and an abundance of charm. He has a very special affect on those who meet him. This child’s coming was the most miraculous event you can imagine and a true testament to what faith and trusting God can do.
Mom, this amazing child’s story has brought both Kev and I back to God. We found the most wonderful church and we are members now and active participants. We take classes to learn more about God and expand our knowledge of Jesus and Christianity several times each year. Every week neither of us can hardly wait to attend church and the classes. We have made a lot of friends in this church and we even do things socially outside of church with them. Can you imagine me being this way? I am so much happier now. I only wish you could have been here to see it. Maybe you can…
Even though we are four years since you left us, I still can’t easily deal with your things. There’s a closet in the “Motel 6 room” that is completely filled with your Christmas decorations. I haven’t even looked at them, Mom. I can’t. You always had such special Christmas’s for us every year. Your house was always so beautifully decorated and Christmas Eves were so wonderful. I miss you so terribly especially on those days; all Christmas Eves since those days pale in comparison. I don’t know how to give your things away. They meant too much to you and now too much to me. It’s like contemplating giving a part of you away. I guess I am not strong enough yet. Laura suggested I have my neighbour, Donna, help me. But Donna never knew you. Eris is gone and Ardith will never visit again. Maybe someday Laura can help me with this. Until that time I hold that closet dear along with all those great memories. Thank you for those, Mom and so many others. I miss you and will always love you.
Your loving daughter,
Marta
posted by Tortikat at 1:36 PM
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